As is mentioned many times in the gospels Jesus needed to be by himself in peace and quiet and prayer. After one such a time he came out of his treasured solitude and made a very important decision. Jesus had many disciples but now he was about to choose twelve of them whom he would name Apostles. We can presume that during his time of prayer Jesus asked God’s help in making his choices.
Some of them were hard working fishermen, one was a tax collector another was probably an accountant. A couple turned out to be ambitious, wanting special seats when Jesus established his kingdom. They all argued as to whom would be ‘number one’ and another turned out to be greedy. At the moment Jesus needed them most they all failed him.
They must have been honored that Jesus picked them from so many others to be his close associates.
Knowing how all they all ended up we know Jesus was taking a risk with each one of them.
St. Paul thought of himself to be the least of the Apostles’. Here is his reflection on how God deals with each one of us. “God chose what is foolish in the world to confound the wise: God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not to reduce to nothing the things that are, so that no one may boast in the presence of God.”
No matter how limited we may imagine ourselves to be God sees something better, greater in each of us. Do we trust ourselves to believe this and respond, ‘here I am Lord, send me to do what you want done, to say what you want said, to love those who are unloved.’
Fr. Paul J. Cusack, C.P.